Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
