You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
