I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
