I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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