I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize