its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
