Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
