my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
