You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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