to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
