sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
