Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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