I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
