I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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