There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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