I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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