you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
