you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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