Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We are two peas in an std pod
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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