k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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