as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
