i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
