WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
