so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
we're so committed to being not committed
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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