I must be too annoying 4 u.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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