Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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