Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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