My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize