I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
