actually, I'm a sock model
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
