i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
only you would photoshop your dick
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize