so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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