I'm really into asian looking animals
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
