38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
