it's too hot outside to masturbate.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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