You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
