How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
