i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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