my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
