Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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