I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
