are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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