I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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