Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
