question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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