Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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