She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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