i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
