I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
