yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
