haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
