the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
