Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
