just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
