Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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