so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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