does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
