I think i sorta joined a cult last night
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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