Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
